Who are the people you spend the most time with outside of work? Are they happy, are they fulfilled, and are they fun to be around?
And who are the people you spend the most time with in your career, whether it be in your work as an entrepreneur, as a freelance, an employee, or anything else? Do you enjoy working with them?
I ask these questions because there's this idea that we are highly influenced by, and often end up being similar to, the five people we spend the most time with. It kind of goes back to that saying “birds of a feather flock together.”
In my experience, there can be differences among different groups of people you know too: the people that you hang out with in your life outside of work might be a very different group than the people you hang out with inside work. And that can still be a positive thing!
For example, the people I hang out with on Fridays that play beach volleyball don't have all the same career aspirations as I do, but we share a love of beach volleyball. Some of the parents and families that my wife and my kids and I hang out with over the weekend have a similarity of the school our kids go to.
Whoever you’re hanging out with, the same questions apply: are these people happy? Are they engaged? Are they fulfilled? Are they enjoying life?
In my case, most of the people I invest time with meet those criteria, even if we have different interests or careers. And that makes it easier for me to be in that space.
Similarly, in my work, I do my best to fill my time up with clients who want to evolve and have a big mission in the world, people want to make a great impact and make an income as they help others. The business partners I look for are other entrepreneurs who have the same criteria as me: people who want to make a big impact in the world, help others, and yes, make a big income also.
All of this really brings us to the question of this episode: what do you have to give up?
This is probably the toughest thing for some people when they start on any path of growth.
Think about it this way: if you're on the soccer team with your best buddy, and your buddy decides not to practice soccer very much while you start practicing a lot, you might end up on the higher level team. Then you might not have as much time with that friend, because now you moved up to the advanced team. It doesn't mean you've hurt the relationship, but the relationship has changed.
One of the things that shows up both in business and in our personal lives is that people can have a hard time letting go. And when we think about what you have to give up in your life to be in a 4-Day Work Week situation, a lot of it can actually come down to who you have to give up.
I want you to take this in a more moderate way than I first took it in when I heard it. When I first took it in, I assumed it had to be something that was very extreme. It had to be this dramatic moment of clearing house of all my friends unless they're worthy of me or as evolved as I am. Everybody out!
But that's really not what this is. That can actually be very cruel, very condescending, very arrogant, and it might not even be accurate. You might not be all that just yet!
But at the same time, if you want to move towards a 4-Day Work Week lifestyle, you might start to look at the activities you do. You might find that you have a group of friends who all do an activity that you no longer want to do. It could be an activity that isn’t taking you where you want to be. It could be something that you just don’t want to prioritize anymore. Maybe it’s just something that you don’t enjoy.
It could be a group of colleagues who like to work really late every night in a competitive way. It could be the friends who want to go out and party until dawn each weekend.
Whatever it is for you, if you change that activity, you don’t necessarily have to ditch all the people who do it. You might say “I'm now going to go do this other activity, and if you want to join me, you're more than welcome. I'd love you to meet me there, but I'm not doing this anymore.”
You need to get clear that you’re focused on moving towards what you want, not moving away from a group of friends. You’re not thinking you're better than them, you’re not trying to prove to them that you can make it without them. You’re just working towards your own goals.
So in that sense it's not so much cutting all these relationships from your life. Certainly if there are people who are bringing you down, who are a drag or a pain in the butt, or who are really getting in the way of your goals, then by all means as lovingly as you can, either move on from those relationships or invest as little time as you can in those relationships, if you can.
But in general, rather than seeing this as just cutting of relationships in a very harsh way, just see it as two people going different directions. If you're in a relationship, whether it is a friendship, a partnership, a business partnership or a romantic relationship, and you start to see things are starting to drift apart, that's okay. It doesn’t have to be dramatic.
After all, you can still keep in contact with people easily, especially now in the days of social media. Some people you'll still keep in contact with. They might even see the way that you’re moving towards a better life and be inspired to do the same.
If you want to make changes in your life, there are always going to be things that you need to give up. It doesn't necessarily have to be the people, but you'll usually find that it's going to be at least the activities you do or how much time you invest in certain people.
And as you move in the direction you most want, you'll start seeing what you want to create shows up in your life. If it turns out that that's not what you wanted, you can always shift back or find a new balance that works for you.
Another thing to consider is that there will most likely be a whole set of people in the new situation that you can almost say were waiting for you to show up. These are the people that enjoy whatever is you're now into and they're probably happy to have another person in their community.
Making time for activities you want to do, and cutting out the ones that you don’t doesn't have to be a negative thing. It doesn't have to be a dramatic thing. It doesn't have to be a hurtful thing and it doesn't have to be a judgmental thing. It can be a positive thing for you, and for the people around you too.
I hope you find this helpful. If you have any questions on this, feel free to shoot me an email.
As always, I look forward to helping you make more money in less time, doing what you do best so you can create the life and the lifestyle you most desire for you, your loved ones, and your life.
Envision & Create the Game Plan for you to start working a 4-Day Work Week.
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It all starts with a VISION and a PLAN.
Learn this simple process for creating the GAME PLAN that can serve as your road map.
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